SGR Experience

This was written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, in Cleveland, Ohio. She wrote:

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow; but, it’s still a gift.

Hope you find some fresh insights and perhaps sometimes a new perspective.  It’s important to think about life and it’s purposes, but mote important is to enjoy the journey

Take care
Gerd Ziegler

Today I want to have a few words with you about an issue – interesting for most of us. You might heard a lot of it already.

Perhaps you heard that you should think positive to get positive results, yes?
– Or even you HAVE TO think positive if you want to become successful at all.

A lot of coaches, trainers or even a hole industry of personal development experts make a living by telling us how to behave to become successful. And actually it is still the best paid job to tell others what to do.

But seriously – we want to share our experiences with such “tips and recommendations” with you,
as we had contact to several programs in the scope of personal development and success coaching.
So here we are:

After using affirmations and positive thinking I have to say – it works – sometimes – under certain circumstances
But I think it’s the most misunderstood concept in recent years. Many people and even so called experts, tell you that everything will be fine, once you start to think positive.

Your wife or husband hates you, your relationship is destroyed, your bank balance makes you a stomach ulcer and your boss fired you last Friday, right before your 20^th anniversary in the company – But hey – see the positive side – Now you have lots of leisure time, time to read all the books you want to read. You’re free now to go out with whomever you want, and, if you want with as many as you want.

Really – of course, this might be a good strategy to overcome the pain of such incidents, but is it true? I mean – when you feel like crying for joy, when your partner leaves you, or your boss fires you – FINE – that’s very good – so you can focus on the next challenge, the next adventure waiting for you.

But very often that’s not true. Very often you feel sad when such things happen to you. And it was written already in the bible – “There is a time to laugh and a time to cry – a time to love and a time to hate.”

Thinking positive means – be aware that there is a positive part in every situation – a positive aspect in every negative incident you occur, and try to find it and think on it while you mourn. In my opinion it doesn’t mean – being happy independent what happens to you.

“I’m fired – oh – what a great chance – oh – what a happy men or women I am that this happens to me.” And you are smiling while your heart is crying. Guess what your unconscious mind will register? What you say or what you really feel?

The Negative is part of our life. Actually without it – the Positive couldn’t exist at all. And we shouldn’t deny it because we misunderstood the sense and the core of positive thinking. Positive thinking doesn’t mean deny the negative and fade it out. There are negative situations and experiences waiting for us, or even encountered us already. We have to handle them, find a way to live with them and finally find a way to overcome them.

Positive thinking is thought to help us by doing so, and it is a great tool to do it faster, better and more thorough than without it.

But we got a critical mind and different feelings to use them all. Life is not a serious of happy moments, it’s a back and force, up and down, full of challenges, problems, failures, victories, successes, dreams, disappointments AND happy moments.

You know – what kind of value has a victory to someone who was never the loser? What kind of value has a family to someone that was never separated from them? How important is money to someone born rich without any worries about finances?

In essence – we need the negative to recognize the positive. We need times of sadness and mourning to appreciate the happiness and abundance all around us.

Positive thinking is important – don’t let me be misunderstood – when we use it wisely and honestly. For example: “I’m fired and I’m very sad and disappointed now, but probably it can change my life in a positive way I can’t see at the moment. So it’s okay to be depressed for a while, but than I will focus on my new chances. Every day a little bit more.”

So – again – when you are honestly happy about a negative situation, like losing your job, than fine – you don’t have to mourn only because everyone expect you to do so. But if you feel sad about it, take your time and don’t forget that negative incidents are part of your life. You have to handle it – in a time for laughing and a time for crying. Don’t mix it up.

You need both in your life – a critical, negative way of thinking for example when you have to check contracts, advertisements, business partners, suppliers and other people aiming for the best of you – your money

Knowing that there is a positive part in every negative situation and a negative part in every positive situation will help you to become successful – when you use this knowledge wisely. Happy people most often have a good mixture of a positive attitude in general and a healthy mistrust in special offers made to you.

How about you? What is your opinion? What is your experience? I look forward to your comments.

Good luck on your way.

Cu soon

Gerd